Suzumiya Haruhi:Volume1 Chapter1

From Baka-Tsuki

Chapter 1

And so, I entered the senior high school in my area. At first, I regretted this decision as my new school sat on top of a very high hill. Even during spring, students would become hot and sweaty just from climbing the steep road—clearly, my intention of "going to school leisurely" was not going to work. Every time I remembered this, along with the fact that I would have to repeat the same procedure every day for the next three years, I became tired and depressed. I overslept a bit today. Perhaps that's why I walked so much faster, and perhaps that was why I was so tired then. I could have woken up ten minutes earlier, but, as all of you know, you sleep best right before it's time to get up. I didn't want to waste that precious 10 minutes, so I gave up on the thought, which meant that I would need to repeat this early exercise for the next three years. This was just too depressing.

That was the reason for my lone grim face in the time-wasting entrance ceremony. Everyone else had the "starting a new journey" look on their face; you know, the unique "hopeful, yet filled with uncertainty" look that every new student wears when they enter a new school. For me, this was not the case—a lot of old classmates from my old junior high school were also coming to this school. To cap it off, a few of my friends were also here. Thus, I didn't look as worried, or excited, as other people.

The guys were wearing sport jackets, and the girls were wearing the sailor uniform. Wow, that's a pretty weird combination. Maybe the snore-inducing principal giving a speech on the stage had some sort of fetish for sailor uniforms. As I was thinking about these useless things, the idiotic ceremony finally ended. I, along with my not-so-willing new classmates, entered the 1-5 classroom.

Our homeroom teacher, Okabe-sensei, with his practiced-for-an-hour-in-front-of-a-mirror smile, walked to the front of the class and gave a self-introduction. He first said that he was a PE teacher, and was the managing teacher for the handball team. Then he moved on to stuff like how, back when he was in university, he used to play on the handball team, and even won the championship, and that this school seriously lacked handball players, so whoever entered the team would become a regular instantly. And then he said stuff like how handball was the most interesting sport in the world and what-have-you. Just when I thought that he would never finish, he suddenly blurted out:

"Now, let's introduce ourselves!"

This kind of thing was pretty common, though, so I wasn't surprised.

One by one, the people on the left side of the class started to introduce themselves. They raised their hand, then announced their name, the name of their old school, and other trivial stuff, such as a hobby or favorite food. Some people mumbled their way through it, a few had some pretty interesting introductions, while some tried to tell lame jokes that lowered the room's temperature by a substantial degree. As the different people introduced themselves, my turn was approaching. I'm starting to get nervous! Everyone should understand how I'm feeling right now, right?

After I managed to finish my carefully thought-out, minimal-length introduction without stumbling over my words too much, I sat down, feeling the relief you get after having finished something unpleasant but necessary. The person behind me stood up for her turn and―ah, I probably won't forget this for the rest of my life―said the words that would be the topic of conversation for a long time.

"My name is Suzumiya Haruhi. I graduated from East Junior High."

Up to this point the introduction was still normal, so I didn't even bother turning around to look at her. I just stared at the front and listened to her crisp voice.

"Normal humans don't interest me. If anyone here is an alien, a time traveler, slider, or an esper, then come find me! That is all."

Upon hearing that, I couldn't help but turn around.

She had long and slender black hair. Her cute face was filled with daring and challenge as the rest of the class stared at her. Her seriousness and determination shone through her glinting eyes and long eyebrows. Her small lips were tightly pursed. This was my first impression of this girl.

I still remember how gleaming her white throat was— she turned out to be quite pretty.

Haruhi, with her provocative eyes, scanned the class slowly, stopped to glare at me (I had my mouth wide open), and then sat down without so much as a smile.

Was she trying to be dramatic?

At that moment I believe everyone's mind was filled with question marks, and that everyone was confused as to what their reaction should be. "Should I laugh?" No one knew.

Well, judging by the conclusion, she wasn't trying to be dramatic or funny, as Haruhi always has her solemn face on.

She is always serious.

This is based on hindsight—it can't be wrong.

After the fairies of silence danced around the classroom for 30-something seconds, the homeroom teacher, with some hesitation, signaled the next person to continue, and the tense atmosphere lifted.

That is how we met.

How unforgettable. I really want to believe that this was all a coincidence.

After she grabbed everyone's attention on the first day, Haruhi reverted to being an innocent high school girl.

This was the calm before the storm! I finally understand it all now.

Anyway, everyone in this school came from one of the four junior high schools in the city— people with average grades. This, of course, includes East Junior High; therefore there should be people in the class who graduated with Haruhi, who knew what her silence symbolized. Unfortunately, I did not know any former East Junior High students, thus no one could explain to me how serious the situation was. Consequently, a few days after that explosive introduction, I did something I would never forget—I tried to talk to her before class.

My dominos of misfortune had begun to fall, and I was the person who pushed the first block!

You see, when Haruhi sits quietly in her seat, she looks just like a normal, cute girl, so I planned to sit right in front of her to get close to her. I actually thought this would work. How naive of me. Someone please beat some sense into me.

Of course, I started the conversation with that incident.

"Hey hey."

I casually turned my head around, with that airy smile all over my face.

"The stuff you said in your intro, were you being serious?"

With her arm crossed on her chest, lips sealed together, Suzumiya Haruhi kept her posture, then stared right into my eyes.

"What 'stuff in my intro'?"

"The stuff about the aliens."

"Are you an alien?"

She looked very serious.

"...No."

"If you are not, then what do you want?"

"...No, nothing."

"Then don't talk to me. You are wasting my time."

Her glare was so cold that I found myself stuttering "sorry" before realizing it. Suzumiya Haruhi then removed her glare from me disdainfully, and started to frown at the blackboard.

I was going to whip back a line or two, but I couldn't think of anything good to say. Thankfully, at that moment the homeroom teacher came into the classroom and saved me.

I turned my head back to my desk damply, and noticed that a few people were looking at me with a look of great interest on their face. This, of course, made me feel very annoyed. After I stared back at them, however, I noticed that they all had the same feeble expression on their faces. Some even nodded at me with sympathy.

As I said, at first I felt very irritated, but later on I learned that all those people graduated from East Junior High.

Given that my first contact with Haruhi had ended horribly I figured that I should keep my distance from her for now, for safety's sake. With that in mind, a week passed by.

But, just as I was still part of this class, there were always people who wanted to talk to the eyebrow-locking scowling-mouthed Haruhi.

Most of the people were those fussy girls; the second they see that a fellow female classmate is becoming isolated they try to be kind and help the girl. This is a good thing, but they should at least check their target beforehand!

"Hi, did you see that TV show last night? The 9 o'clock one."

"No."

"Eh, why?"

"I don't know."

"You should try it. Even if you started in the middle you wouldn't be lost. Do you need me to go over the previous story for you?"

"You are annoying!"

That's how it went.

It would be much better if she could just answer no with her poker face. But no, she had to show her impatience in both her expression and her voice. This just made her victim believe that they did something wrong. At the end he/she could only say "I see...then I will just...", and ask themselves "What did I say wrong?" and whimper away.

Don't be so sad; you didn't say anything wrong. The problem is with Suzumiya Haruhi's brain, not you.

Even though I didn't mind eating alone, I didn't want others to think that I was a loner when everyone else was happily eating their lunch with their friends. That's why, even though I didn't care if others misunderstood, I ate my lunch together with my junior high school classmate Kunikida and an East Junior High graduate named Taniguchi, who sat close to me.

We started to talk about Haruhi.

"Did you try to talk to Suzumiya?" Taniguchi asked innocently. I nodded.

"And then she said some weird stuff and you didn't know how to react?"

"That's right!"

Taniguchi put his sliced boiled egg into his mouth, chewed, and said:

"If that girl is interested in you, she wouldn't say weird stuff like that. All I can advise you is to give up! You should know by now that she's not normal.

"I was in her class three years in a row; I know how she is."

He used this line as the beginning of his speech.

"She always does incredibly baffling things. I thought she would at least try to control herself after she got into senior high; apparently she hasn't. You heard her introduction speech, right?"

"You mean the alien stuff?"

Kunikida, who was busy picking bones out of his fried fish, had butted in.

"Yeah that. Even back in junior high she always said and did lots of weird stuff. For example there was this school vandalization incident!"

"What happened?"

"You know that one tool where you use plaster dust to draw field lines, right? What's it called... Anyway, she sneaked into school at night and, with that thing, drew a huge huge symbol in the middle of the field."

Taniguchi had a mischievous smile on his face— he was probably remembering the incident.

"That was so shocking. I went to school early that morning, and all I saw were big circles and triangles. I couldn't figure out what they were supposed to be, so I went up to the fourth floor to get a bird's eye view. That didn't help— I still didn't know what that symbol was."

"Ah, I think I saw that before. Didn't the newspaper have a story on it? It even had a helicopter view of it! The symbol looked like a broken Nazca pictogram," Kunikida said.

I don't remember hearing about that before.

"I saw the article, I saw it. The headline was something like 'Mystery Vandal Strikes Junior High At Night,' right? Well, care to guess who pulled that stunt?"

"Don't tell me it's her."

"She admitted it herself. There's no mistaking it. Naturally, she got called into the principal's office. Every teacher was there, questioning her on why she did it."

"Why did she do it, then?"

"I don't know," Taniguchi answered flatly, as he tried to swallow a mouthful of rice.

"I heard she refused to say anything. Of course, when you're getting glared at by her, you tend to give up on whatever you're planning. Someone said that she drew the symbol to call out to UFOs, others said that it was a magic symbol and was used in summoning monsters, or that she was trying to open a portal to different worlds, etc... There were many speculations, but as long as the perpetrator refuses to talk, we may never know if those rumors are true or not. To this day it's still a mystery."

For some reason, the picture of Haruhi, with her no-nonsense look, busy laying the lines in the middle of the school field at night, floated into my mind. She definitely prepared the drawing tools and the limestone powders beforehand in the storage room; maybe she even bought a flashlight! Under its dim yellow light Suzumiya Haruhi looked very sober and tragic... OK, this was just my imagination.

But truth be told Suzumiya Haruhi was probably really doing it to summon UFOs or monsters, or even a dimensional portal. She probably worked on it the whole night in the field, but nothing showed up, and all she was left with was that beat down feeling, I thought to myself.

"That's not the only thing she did!"

Taniguchi continued to finish his lunch.

"Once I came to the classroom in the morning and discovered that all the desks were moved out to the corridor, or that there were printed stars on the school roof. Another time she was going around the school posting curse papers all over the place...you know, those Chinese vampire ones where you put the paper talisman on a vampire's forehead. I just can't understand her."

That's right, Suzumiya Haruhi was not inside the classroom right then, or else we wouldn't have been having this conversation. But then again, even if she did hear us, she probably wouldn't have cared. Usually, Suzumiya Haruhi left the classroom immediately after fourth period, then came back right before the fifth period. She didn't carry a lunch box, so I had assumed that she went to the cafeteria to enjoy her lunch; but it doesn't take the whole hour to eat lunch, does it? Furthermore, at the end of every period, she disappeared. Where did she go anyway...?

"But she is very popular with the guys!"

Taniguchi piped in:

"She's cute, athletic, and smart. Even though she is peculiar, if she keeps her mouth shut, she's actually not bad."

"Where did you learn all this gossip?" Kunikida asked, with his lunch box twice as full as Taniguchi's.

"There was a period of time where she switched boyfriends non-stop. From what I heard, the longest relationship lasted a week, the shortest one ended 5 minutes after the confession. In addition, the only reason Suzumiya gave for dumping her boyfriends was 'I don't have time to socialize with normal humans.'"

Taniguchi seemed to be speaking from experience. After he noticed my stare, he became a bit flustered.

"I heard this from other people! Honest! For some reason, she wouldn't turn down a confession. By the third year, everyone understood; so no one wanted to confess to her anymore. I have a funny feeling that history will repeat itself in senior high. So I am warning you now: give up. This is coming from someone who was in the same class as her."

Say whatever you want, I was not interested in her that way.

Taniguchi put his empty lunch-box back into his bag, and let out a sinister giggle.

"If I had to choose one, I would choose her, Asakura Ryouko."

Taniguchi nodded his chin towards a group of girls a few desks away. In the middle of the conversing group, with a rosy smile on her face, was Asakura Ryouko.

"Judging from my analysis, she definitely enters the 'Top Three Cutest First Year Girls' list."

"You have every single first year girl in this school checked out?"

"I group girls into A to D categories and, believe me, I only remember the names of the A girls. You only get to go through high school life once— I want mine to be as happy as possible."

"Then that Asakura Ryouko is an A then?" Kunikida asked.

"She is AA+! Come on, just look at her face, her personality must be first class."

Even ignoring Taniguchi's egoistic comments, Asakura Ryouko was quite a different kind of cute girl than Suzumiya Haruhi was.

First of all, she was very pretty; plus she always let off a smile-like caring impression. Second, her personality did seem to match Taniguchi's description. These days no one dared to talk to Suzumiya Haruhi anymore, except for Asakura Ryouko. No matter how harsh Suzumiya Haruhi was, Asakura Ryouko still tried to talk to her from time to time. She was so passionate that she almost acted like the class monitor. Third, from the way she answered teachers' questions in class alone, you could see that she was very smart. She always answered the questions correctly— in the eyes of the teachers she was probably a model student. To top it off, she was extremely popular with the girls. The term had only been going for a week, and she was already well on her way to being the center of the female students in the class. It was as though she had fallen from the sky and had been born with extreme attraction in mind!

Compared to the often scowling, science fiction-obsessed Suzumiya Haruhi, the choice was obvious. Then again, these two candidates were both probably too high up the hill for our hero Taniguchi to climb. No way was he going to get either of them.

It was still April then, and, at that time, Suzumiya was actually behaving quite nicely. To me, this was quite a relaxing month. At the very least, there would be a month to go before Haruhi started going astray.

But, even during this time, I'd observed some of Haruhi's eccentric behaviors.

Why would I say that?

Clue #1: She changed her hairstyle every day. Furthermore, judging from my observation, there was some sort of a pattern going on. On Monday, Haruhi would come to school with her long hair down, without tying it up whatsoever. On the next day, she would tie it up in a ponytail. As much as I hate to admit it, that hair style did look good on her. Then, she would tie two ponytails on the next day, and three ponytails the day after; by Friday, she would have four ribbon-tied ponytails on her head. Her actions were really enigmatic!

Monday = 0 , Tuesday = 1, Wednesday = 2...

As the day of the week increased, so would the number of her ponytails; by next Monday, the whole process would start again. I couldn't see why she was doing it. Following the previous logic, she should have had six ponytails on Sunday... I suddenly wanted to see her Sunday hairstyle.

Clue #2: For PE, classes 1-5 and 1-6 would combine and have PE together, with the boys and girls separated. When we changed clothes, the girls would go to the 1-5 classroom, and the boys would go to the 1-6 classroom; meaning at the end of the previous period, the guys from our class (1-5) would move to the other room to change.

Unfortunately, Haruhi totally ignored the guys in our class, and removed her sailor uniform before the guys had left.

It was as if, to her, the guys were pumpkins or potato sacks, and she couldn't care less. Without any expression, she would throw her uniform onto the desk and start to get into her sweatshirt.

At that moment, Asakura Ryouko would drive the goggle-eyed, frozen guys, myself included, out of the classroom.

According to rumors, the girls, with Asakura Ryouko as their leader, tried to talk Haruhi out of doing that, but to no avail. Every PE class, Haruhi would ignore the rest of the class and take her uniform off without so much as a glance. And so, we guys were asked to leave the classroom the second the bell rang— at the request of Asakura Ryouko.

But seriously, Haruhi has a really great figure... argh, this isn't the time to say that kind of thing.

Clue #3: At the end of every block, Haruhi would go AWOL. When the school bell came rolling around, she would grab her backpack and shoot out of the classroom. Logically, I thought that she went straight back to her house; I would never have thought that she would go and participate in all the clubs in the school. One day, you would see her passing balls in the Basketball Club, and the next you would see her sewing a pillow case in the Sewing Club. By the following day, you would see her waving her stick in the Hockey Club. I think she also joined the Baseball Club. So, basically, she had participated in every sport club in our school. Of course, all the clubs tried to persuade her into joining them. She turned them down of course. Her explanation was: "It is annoying for me to do the same club activity everyday." At the end of the day, she didn't join any clubs.

What is that girl trying to pull?

From this alone, news of a "weird first year girl" spread throughout the school almost instantly. Within a month, there was not a single person who didn't know who Suzumiya Haruhi was. Fast forwarding to May, people may still not have known who the principal was, but Suzumiya Haruhi was a household name.

So, with all this stuff going on— and Haruhi always the cause— May arrived.

Though I personally think that destiny is even less believable than the Loch Ness monster, if destiny, at some unknown place, is actively influencing human lives, my wheel of fate had probably begun to turn. Conceivably, in some remote mountain there was probably some old guy who was busy rewriting my destiny.

After the end of the Golden Week holiday, I walked to school, not sure what day of the week it was. The unnaturally sunny May weather blasted onto my skin and made me soaked with sweat— the steep hill didn't seem to end either. Just what is it that the Earth wants? Is it suffering from yellow fever or something?

"Hey, Kyon."

From behind, somebody clapped me on the shoulder. It was Taniguchi.

His blazer hung slovenly on his shoulders, his necktie was wrinkled and skewed to one side.

"Where did you go for Golden Week?"

"I took my little sister to see my grandma in the countryside."

"How dull."

"Fine, what did you do, then?"

"Part time all the way."

"You don't look like that kind of person."

"Kyon, you are in senior high now— why do you still bring your little sister to see your grandpa and grandma? You gotta at least look like a senior high student."

By the way, Kyon would be me. My aunt was the one who first called me that. A few years ago, my long-time-no-see aunt suddenly said to me "My goodness, Kyon has grown so big!" My sister thought it was funny and also started to call me Kyon. After that the rest is history— my friends, upon hearing my sister calling me Kyon, decided to follow her lead. From that day on, my nickname became Kyon. Damn it, my sister used to call me "Onii-chan"!

"It is a tradition of my family's to have a cousin gathering during Golden Week," I answered as I climbed the hill.

The sweating sensation made me feel uncomfortable.

Taniguchi, long winded as always, boasted how he had met some cute girls at his workplace, and how he planned to use the money he saved to go on dates and such. Frankly, topics like what dreams people have, or how amazing or cute someone's pet is, are in my book, some of the dullest topics in the world.

As I listened to Taniguchi's date schedule (apparently he wasn't stopped by little problems such as how no one was going with him), we arrived at the school gate.

Suzumiya Haruhi was already sitting behind my seat staring at the outside when I entered the classroom. She had two bun-like hair clippers on her head; I guess today is Wednesday. After sitting down— for some reason which I do not know, the only explanation being that I was going nuts, before I realized it— I found myself once again talking to Suzumiya Haruhi.

"Do you change your hair style each day because of the aliens?"

Like a robot, Suzumiya Haruhi turned her face slowly towards me, and stared at me with her dead serious expression. It was pretty scary, actually.

"When did you notice?"

Her tone was so cold that it was as though she was talking to a rock on the side of the road.

I paused for a while to think about it.

"Hmm... for a while."

"Really?"

Haruhi put her chin on her palm, looking irritated.

"At least that's what I think, because you look and feel different to me everyday."

This was the first time we'd had a proper conversation!

"For color: Monday is yellow, Tuesday is red, Wednesday is blue, Thursday is green, Friday is gold, Saturday is brown, and Sunday is white."

I can sort of understand what she is trying to say.

"Then that means if we use numbers to represent the color, Monday is zero and Sunday is six, right?"

"That's correct."

"But shouldn’t Monday be one?"

"Who asked for your opinion?"

"...Yeah, right."

Seemingly unsatisfied by my answer, Haruhi scowled at me. I just sat there uncomfortably and let time slip by.

"Have I seen you somewhere before? A long time ago?"

"Don't think so."

After I answered, Okabe-sensei entered the classroom lightly, and our first conversation ended.

Even though our first conversation is nothing to write home about, this could become the changing point I have been looking for!

Then again, the only chance I could talk to Haruhi was the bit of time before homeroom session, as she's usually not in the room during recess. But as I sit in front of her, I am fairly certain that my chances of talking to her are far greater than those of others.

But the thing that shocked me the most is that Haruhi actually answered me properly. I originally thought that she would go like, “You are annoying, moron, shut up! Whatever!” I guess that I'm just as weird as her, for actually finding the guts to go and talk to her.

Therefore when I came to school the next day and discovered that instead of tying three ponytails, Haruhi had cut her long and slender hair short, I felt quite depressed.

The waist length hair has been shortened to shoulder length. I mean, even though the hairstyle does suit her, she cut her hair after I talked to her about her hair! She is obviously looking down on me. What the hell!

When I asked for her reason, however:

"No reason."

She answered with her trademark irritated tone but didn't show any sort of special expression. She was not going to tell me the reason.

But I expected that, so that's all right.

"Did you really try to join all the clubs?"

From that day on, talking to her using the bit of time before the home room session became my daily routine. Of course, if I didn't try to start the conversation, Haruhi would show no sign of reaction. Another thing is that if I talk to her about how last night's TV show was, or how the weather is, etc.— those she deemed as "idiotic topics"— she would just ignore me. Knowing that, I carefully picked the conversation topic whenever I talked to her.

"Is there a club that is more fun than the others? I'd like to consider joining some myself."

"None." Haruhi answered flatly. "Absolutely none."

She emphasizes this again, then slowly let out a breath. Is she sighing?

"I thought that high school would be a bit better. In the end it's the same as mandatory education. Nothing changes at all. Looks like I joined the wrong school."

Miss, what criteria did you employ when you decided which school to attend?

"Sports clubs and cultural clubs are all the same. If only there were some unique clubs in school..."

"Well, what gave you the right to decide if other clubs are normal or not?"

"Shut up. If I like a club, then it's unique; otherwise it's plain."

"Really? I knew you would say that."

"Hmph!"

She turned her face away in annoyance, marking the end of the day's conversation.

Another day:

"I overheard something the other day. ... It's not something important anyway. ... Did you really dump all your boyfriends?"

"Why do I need to hear this from you again?"

She brushed her hair by her shoulders, and stared at me with her bright black eyes. God, other than being expressionless, this angry expression seems to appear often on her face.

"Did that Taniguchi tell you? God, I can't believe that I'm in the same class as that idiot even after I graduated junior high. He isn't one of those stalking psychos, is he?”

"I don't think so," I thought.

"I don't know what you heard, but it doesn't matter, most of them are true anyway."

"Isn't there someone out there you want to have a serious relationship with?"

"Absolutely no one!"

Total dismissal seems to be her motto.

"Every single one of them is a moron, I just can't engage in any serious relationship with them. Each one of them would ask me to meet him at the train station on Sunday, then for sure we would go to movies, amusement park, or to a ball game. The first time we eat together would always be a lunch date then we would rush off to a café to drink tea. At the end of the day they would always say 'see you tomorrow'!"

"I don't see anything wrong with that!" I thought personally; but I didn't dare say that out loud. If Haruhi says it's bad, then it must be bad for her.

"Then, without fail, they would confess over the phone. What the Hell! This is a sober subject, at least tell me face-to-face!!"

I can sympathize with those guys. Making such an important― to them, at least― confession to someone who looks at you like you are a worm would probably make anyone feel uneasy. They lost their nerve just from seeing your expression! I'm imagining what those guys were thinking as I respond to Haruhi.

"Hmm, you are right. I would ask the girl out and tell her directly."

"Who the hell cares about you!"

What the... Did I say something wrong again?

"The problem is, are all the boys in this world such dim-witted creatures? I have been agitated by this question since junior high."

Now it's not any better is it!

"Then, what kind of boy would you consider 'interesting'? Is it going to be aliens after all?"

"I am fine with aliens or similar things as long as they are not normal. Be they male or female."

"Why do you always insist on something other than human?"

When I blabbed that out Haruhi looked at me with disdain.

"Because humans are no fun at all!"

"That... maybe you are right."

Even I can't counter Haruhi's idea; if it turns out that this cute transfer student is half earthling and half alien, even I would think that's cool. If Taniguchi, currently sitting next to me and spying on Haruhi and me, is a detective from the future, it would be even cooler. If Asakura Ryouko, who for some reason keeps smiling at me, has any sort of supernatural power, then my school life would be as exciting as one can get.

But none of it is possible— no aliens, time travelers, or supernatural powers exist in this world. Okay, let's say they do exist. They wouldn't just appear right in front of us humble citizens and say, “Hello, I'm actually an alien.”

"THAT'S WHY!"

Haruhi suddenly stood up and knocked her chair down, causing everyone to turn and look at her.

"THAT’S WHY I AM WORKING SO HARD!!"

"Sorry I am late!"

The always-optimistic Okabe-sensei, who is pretty out of breath, rushed into the classroom. When he saw the whole class looking at Haruhi standing, her fists clenched, eyes fixed at the ceiling, he became just as surprised and just stood there.

"Er... Homeroom is about to start!”

Haruhi sat down immediately and glared at the corner of her desk. Phew!

I turned around, the whole class followed suit and turned their heads as well. Then Okabe-sensei, obviously disoriented by the commotion, wobbled to the stage and let out a soft cough.

"I apologize for being late. Eh... Then let's begin!"

He repeats again, and the class atmosphere finally reverts to normal— even though this is the sort of atmosphere that Haruhi hates the most!

Maybe, life is just like that?

But, to tell you the truth, deep inside my heart I'm really envious of Haruhi's attitude towards life.

She still has the aspiration that she'll meet someone from the supernatural world that I abandoned long ago, and she enthusiastically tries to achieve her dream. If sitting around waiting is not going to achieve anything, let's call them ourselves! This is why Haruhi does things like drawing white lines on the school field, painting symbols on the school roof, and pasting cursed paper talismans everywhere.

Sigh!

I don't know when Haruhi started to do weird stuff that made others mistake her as an occultist. Waiting achieves nothing, so why not perform some weird ceremonies to call them out? At the end of the day, however, nothing happened. Maybe that's why Haruhi always has that "damn-the-whole-world" look on her face...?

"Hey, Kyon."

After class, Taniguchi, with his mystified face, tried to corner me. Taniguchi, you look like a total moron with that expression of yours!

"Be quiet! I don't care what you say. Anyway what kind of magical spell did you cast?"

"What magical spell?"

Highly advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic! I remembered this proverb as I ask Taniguchi back. He then pointed his finger at Haruhi's now vacant seat.

"This is the first time I've seen Suzumiya talk to a person for so long! What did you guys talk about?"

That, ah, what did we talk about? I just asked her some normal questions, that's all.

"How very shocking!"

Taniguchi sarcastically put on an in-awe expression, then Kunikida popped up from behind Taniguchi.

"Kyon has a history of liking strange girls."

Hey, don't say things that'll create a misunderstanding.

"It doesn't matter if Kyon likes strange girls. What I can't understand is why Suzumiya would talk to you? I don't get it at all."

"Maybe Kyon is as weird as her?"

"Probably. I mean you can't expect someone with a nickname like Kyon to be normal."

Stop calling me Kyon, Kyon, Kyon! Rather than being called by that stupid nickname, just use my real name! At the very least I wanted to hear my sister call me "Onii-chan"!

"I want to know too."

The voice of a cheerful girl came out of nowhere. I lifted my head, and of course, saw Asakura Ryouko's innocently smiling face.

"I tried talking to Suzumiya-san a few times already but nothing came of it. Could you teach me how I should talk to her?"

I acted like I thought about this for a while; actually, I didn't even think at all.

"I dunno."

Upon hearing this Asakura smiled.

"I am so relieved now. She can't go on being isolated from her classmates like that, so it's great that you've become her friend.”

Asakura Ryouko cares for her like a class monitor because, well, she is the class monitor. She was elected as the class monitor in our last lengthy homeroom session.

"Friend, huh?"

I shook my head uncertainly. Is it really like that? But, the only expression Haruhi gives me whenever I talk to her is a scowl!

"You need to continue helping Suzumiya-san so that she can get along with the class. We're in the same class after all so we're counting on you!"

Sigh, even if you say that, I don't even know what I'm supposed to do!

"If there is anything I need to tell Suzumiya-san, I could just ask you to pass the message to her!"

No, wait! I'm not her spokesman!

"Please?" she asked sincerely, putting her palms together.

Faced with her request, I could only give vague responses like "erm", "ahh...". Asakura took that as a yes and showed her yellow-tulip-like smile, and then went back to the other girls. After seeing that the other girls were looking at me, my heart fell to the bottom of a canyon.

"Kyon, we are good friends right...?" Taniguchi asked, staring at me suspiciously.

"What the hell is going on here?"

Even Kunikida, with his eyes closed and arms crossed on his chest, nodded.

Oh my god! Why am I surrounded by a bunch of idiots?

It seems that someone decided that everyone in class needed to change their seats monthly. Therefore the class monitor Asakura wrote all the seat numbers onto little pieces of paper, placed them in a cookie tin, and let each of us draw from it. In the end I got the seat in the second to last row next to the window that overlooks the courtyard. Guess who took the last seat right behind me? That's right. It's the ever scowling Haruhi!

"Why hasn't something interesting happened yet?! Like little grade school kids disappearing one by one, or some teachers getting murdered inside a locked classroom?"

"Stop saying that kind of scary stuff!"

"I joined the Mystery Study Group."

"Oh? What happened?"

"It was so idiotic. Nothing interesting happened! Furthermore, all the club members are detective novel fans but there isn't anyone there that resembles a detective!"

"Isn't that normal?"

"I actually had hopes for the Supernatural Study Group."

"Really?"

"But they all turned out to be a bunch of occult maniacs. Does that sound fun to you?"

"Not really."

"Ah, man, this is too boring! Why doesn't this school have any decently interesting club?"

"Well, there's not much you can do about that."

"I thought after I graduated to senior high I would encounter some kick ass clubs! Sigh, this is like trying to go into the Major League but then you discover that the school you're attending doesn't even have a baseball team."

Haruhi looked as if she were some sort of banshee ready to go to a hundred Buddhist monasteries to lay some curses. She stared at the sky with disdain and let out a huge sigh.

Should I pity her?

I don't know what sort of clubs Haruhi likes. Maybe even she doesn't know the answer. She just wants to "do something interesting." What is "something interesting?" Does that involve solving a murder mystery? Searching for UFOs? Or exorcism? I think she has no idea either.

"I think it can't be helped if there aren't any."

I decided to express my opinion.

"Judging from the results, humans are usually content with their current states. Those who aren't, however, will try to invent or discover something to advance civilization. Someone wanted to fly so they invented airplanes. Someone wanted to travel easily so automobiles and trains were made. But, those things were created by people who possessed special talents. Only a genius can convert those imaginings into reality. We ordinary mortals should just live our lives fully. We shouldn't act impulsively just because we feel adventurous."

"Shut up."

Haruhi just cut off my rather excellent speech, or at least that's what I think, and turned her head the other direction. Looks like she's really moody right now. But then again, when isn't she? I am used to it already.

This girl probably doesn't care about anything— unless it involves supernatural powers that far surpasses reality. The world doesn't have those, however. Nope, really.

Long live the Laws of Physics! Thanks to you we humans can live in peace. Though Haruhi may cringe at this.

I am normal, right?

Something must have triggered it.

Maybe it's the above conversation?

Because I never saw it coming!

The warm sun made everyone in the classroom sleepy. Just as I was nodding my head and going to sleep, a powerful force was suddenly exerted on my collar and pulled me backwards. Because the force was so strong, my head hit the corner of the desk behind me. Tears came out of my eyes instantly.

"What do you think you are doing!?"

I turned my head around madly and saw Haruhi, one hand still grabbing my collar, smiling a big smile that was as bright as the tropical sun— honestly, this is the first time I've seen her smile! If smiles can be measured in terms of temperature, then her smile was as hot as a tropical rain forest.

"I got it!"

Hey, don't spit on me!

"Why didn't I think of this before?"

Haruhi's eyes shone as brightly as the Albireo Alpha star. She stared at me pointedly. Reluctantly I asked:

"What did you think up?"

"If it doesn't exist, I can just create one myself!"

"Create what?"

"A club!"

My head suddenly hurt and I don't think it had anything to do with my head hitting the desk a moment ago.

"Really? What an excellent idea. Can you let go of me now?"

"What's with your attitude? You should be happier!"

"About your idea, I'll talk to you about that later. For now I just want you to consider where we are, THEN you can share your joy with me. But first calm down okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"Class is still in session."

Haruhi finally let go of my collar. I pressed the numbing back of my head and turned around slowly. I noticed that the whole class looked totally awestruck. The freshly-graduated newbie English teacher, with her chalk in her hand, stared at me and looked as if she was ready to cry.

I signaled Haruhi to sit down quickly and shrugged towards the poor teacher.

Please continue with the lesson.

I heard Haruhi mumble about something and sat down unwillingly. The teacher then resumed her writing on the board...

Create a new club?

Hmmmm....

Don't tell me I'm already a member?

My aching cerebrum just serves to enhance my unease.

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