Suzumiya Haruhi:Volume2 Prologue

From Baka-Tsuki

Prologue

Haruhi seems like the kind of person who shouldn't have any worries. But, she does. Only the thing that's bothering her is that "The world is too mundane."

To her, the "Non-mundane things" are any kind of supernatural phenomena, meaning she often thinks things like "I can't believe there's not even half a ghost appearing before me."

I should also let you know that the word "ghost" can be replaced with "aliens", "time-travelers", or "espers." However, it is common knowledge that these things only appear in fiction novels. They simply don't exist in reality. Which means, as long as Haruhi continues to live in this world, she will continue to be bothered by this fact. The world is supposed to be like this; nothing out of the ordinary. However, recent events in my life have made it very hard for me to have confidence in this fact; I'm also bothered.

Because I know these aliens, time-travelers, and espers do exist.

"Listen to me, I need to tell you something very important."

"What?"

"Haven't you always wished for the existence of aliens or time-travelers or espers?"

"That's right. So what?"

"In other words, the purpose of our SOS Brigade is to find these people. Right?"

"Not only to find them, we have to be able to play together. Just finding them isn't good enough, I want to participate in the act, not just be part of the audience."

"But I always wish I was watching from the sidelines... sigh, whatever. But have you ever thought that these aliens, time-travelers, or espers might be surprisingly close to us?"

"Ah? What do you mean? Don't tell me you mean Yuki, Mikuru, or Itsuki? If it's them, then that's not really a 'surprise'."

"Umm... actually I meant to tell you that it was them all along."

"Are you an idiot? It can't be that easy."

"That's true, this would be too simple by normal standards."

"Then tell me, who's the alien?"

"You would be very glad to hear this. Nagato Yuki is the alien. Hmm, how should I put it? Should be Integrated something entity... or Data something entity... something like that. Basically created by aliens and given a body."

"Hm, then what about Mikuru?"

"Asahina-san is easy to explain: she's a time-traveler. She comes from the future. There's no problem calling her a time-traveler right?"

"Then how many years into the future is she from?"

"I don't know this, she didn't tell me that."

"Oh, I see."

"Really?"

"That means Itsuki is an esper? Were you planning on telling me that from the start?"

"That is correct."

"Ahh."

Haruhi twitched her eyebrows while she spoke, then slowly breathed in some air, and screamed:

"DON'T MESS WITH ME!"

Just like that, Haruhi completely discarded the truth that took me so much effort to get out. Oh well, this was expected of her. Even after the three of them each used their own way to show me that they were indeed an alien, a time-traveler, and an esper, I still had doubts in my mind. To make Haruhi believe this, especially considering that she hadn't seen what I had seen, was almost impossible.

But what else could I say? I had told her the absolute truth. Even though I don't look like a very credible guy, when I know there's no benefit to be gained from lying, I will tell the truth.

But in fact Haruhi wasn't at fault either. If a nice guy came up to me and said "This person you know is actually someone unbelievable..." I believe I would also lose my temper and start yelling at him. If some guy said that kind of stuff to me with a straight face, I would probably think that his brain had been infected by some virus, or had been addled by poisonous waves. Perhaps I'd even feel sorry for the guy. I don't think I would continue to talk to that guy in any case.

Hmm, right now, isn't "that guy" me?

"Kyon, get your ears over here and listen carefully."

Haruhi stared at me with fire in her eyes.

"It doesn't matter whether it's an alien, a time-traveler, or a esper. They're not going to casually appear in front of us just like that! Do you know how precious they are? If we find them, we have to grab them by the neck, tie them up, and hang them up so they can't escape! The people that I randomly grabbed off the streets to join our club can't be that rare and precious!"

Wow, that actually made some sense. But other than me, the other three really are blessed with supernatural characteristics. I'm the only normal human being. Wait a minute, did she say that she just grabbed random people to be in her club?

Sigh, why does this dumb girl only have common sense when it comes to strange topics? If she would only believe me, everything would be much simpler. At least this bogus SOS Brigade could disband, since it was formed for the sole purpose of finding aliens et al for Haruhi. Once she finds those things, there won't be any point in keeping this club around. After that, she can play with those unnatural beings all she likes, while I stay to the side and add a few laughs here and there. I hope this happens soon, because right now I feel like a circus animal being forced to perform.

However, if Haruhi had any sense of what was happening around her, I don't know what the world would be like.

Ah yes. I should let you know that only two people participated in this dialogue, from the beginning. It happened during the second "SOS Brigade wandering around in the city (temporary name)" club event, when I talked with Haruhi inside the restaurant by the station. I didn't have any doubts that Haruhi would pay for the meal; I'd explained all that to her very naturally as I was sipping my coffee. But she didn't take me seriously at all. I'm fine with that though. Whoever believes in that stuff needs to have their brain examined.

As for me, I didn't bother to tell her the specifics, since details in things like this would only cause more suspicion. Since all this was coming from me: the guy who got dragged to Nagato's apartment and had to listen to a long series of unclear explanations, there was no reason to suspect anything funny.

"I don't ever want to hear lame jokes like this again."

Haruhi drained all the yellow-greenish vegetable juice from her glass, and said:

"Let's go! We can't separate into two groups today, so let's just wander around! Oh yeah, I forgot to bring my wallet today. Here's the bill."

While I was still staring at the eight hundred and thirty yen bill, thinking about how to protest this atrocity, Haruhi grabbed my coffee and finished it. That left me with the impression that she wasn't going to accept any protests. She then marched out of the restaurant, and stood in front of the automatic door with her arms crossed.

Half a year has already passed since then. Now that I think about it, I seem to have experienced a lot of strange phenomena during these past six months. SOS Brigade's official name is still "The Save our world by Overloading it with fun Suzumiya Haruhi's Brigade" which gives me the creeps. I have no idea where in the world this club brought more excitement to. I think only Haruhi felt whatever excitement it was supposed to bring. Also, the club's reason for existence is still a mystery. The original goal was something about playing with aliens, kidnapping time travelers, and battling alongside espers. However from Haruhi's perspective, this goal still hasn't been reached.

This is all because Haruhi believes she hasn't met any aliens, time travelers or espers. Coming to that conclusion isn't something I can help. I've already told her the other three members' true identities, but she just won't believe me. So this shouldn't be my responsibility anymore, right?

Even though the SOS Brigade has failed to reach its intended goal, thus losing its primary reason for existence, it still hasn't disbanded. Even now, this unrecognized organization still secretly exists in the Old Shack.

Of course, our five members, including myself, still choose to hang out in our clubroom every day. The student council, after several meetings and different levels of analysis, seems to have chosen to ignore us. They didn't approve our club initiation documents, but they didn't say anything regarding our forced takeover of the Literature Club either. Maybe it's because the club's only member, Nagato Yuki, has no problem with us being here. However, I personally believe that the student council simply does not want to get into an argument with Haruhi, so they've decided to feign ignorance.

I don't think anyone in the world would intentionally step on something that says "Warning: explodes when stepped on" in red neon lights. Even I don't have the courage to do that. If I had only known, I would not have talked to that stubborn girl who put up that unfriendly expression every day.

A normal high schooler who accidentally pressed a button that activated a time bomb, and is now being forced to carry that bomb around like a moron - that's me. And this time bomb labeled "Suzumiya Haruhi" doesn't even have a counter on it. I have no idea when it's going to explode, how much damage it will cause, or what else is inside. Even more importantly, I don't even know if this bomb is real. Maybe it's just a toy used to fool little kids.

I can't seem to find the trash bin labeled "Hazardous Materials Only" no matter how hard I try. Which means, this dangerous entity that I've activated is essentially covered with superglue, stuck to my hand harder than anything else could be.

Sigh... Where am I gonna find a place to dump it?

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