Suzumiya Haruhi:Volume5 Prologue - Winter

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Prologue - Winter

My thoughts on Suzumiya Haruhi, needless to say, are like describing patterns of a patchwork carpet. However, should I attempt to describe this individual using words and phrases that I can understand, it would be the following warning:

Here is the person that can't be allowed anywhere near the ICBM launch controls in the whole of Japan.

Normally, a high school girl has close to zero chance of owning such an item, but anytime when you pull this woman into the fray, even the next-to-impossible becomes impossible-to-avoid. Either that or the two would cancel out, leaving behind nonstop chaos that she is somehow immune to. To her the matter would just be an issue of two choices, choose one. That person might not be as evil as the timed-explosive that starts its countdown without being set, but she is more radioactive than a nuclear reactor meltdown. Experience dictates, however, that even if containment of the gremlin is impossible, as long as you set her on 'vibration mode,' no matter how big a leak she springs up, the leak can be mended.

Therefore I have to think of some ways to alleviate her boredom, so she would have no time to think of nukes, if only for a little while. As long as she has some other things to burn her passions at, just like tossing a bottle cap towards my Calico Shamisen who would bite it for a good three minutes, she would have a three minute attention span towards that 'thing'-

-the above are the mandates Koizumi proposed in the past. Even up till now that guy has yet to change his point of view.

Because of that, we are slapped face-on with the most idiotic thing that can happen.

Face-on? Gasp, yes. It is not a chance encounter, not a finding and not a meeting. There is no word that describes our current situation better.

Because we are now, truly, totally in deep trouble.

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